Download Boundaries Participant's Guide---Revised: When To Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud
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Boundaries Participant's Guide---Revised: When To Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud
Download Boundaries Participant's Guide---Revised: When To Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud
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Review
'Boundaries define everything from football fields to nation-states, yet our culture has pretended it could violate boundaries in human relationships without serious consequences. Cloud and Townsend examine the damage caused by this flawed view and point the way back.' -- Cal Thomas, Author'Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have great insights and practical wisdom into the God-given gift of boundaries. As they discuss how to take responsibility for and ownership of our lives, they give hope that we cannot just survive -- but thrive!' -- Josh McDowell, Author'This book is going to provide a doorway of understanding and freedom for those of us who have allowed ourselves to be buried in the inability to say no. Thank you once again, Henry and John, for helping us toward freedom.' -- Rich Buhler, Author'In this insightful and extremely helpful book, you will learn about a simple concept that can change your life: healthy boundaries. It's the ability to mark off your life in such a way that you multiply your love for others and minimize the problems you face. And it's waiting for you when you open this book I highly recommend.' -- John Trent, PhD, President'I've heard a myriad of sermons on Christian servanthood that never discussed the value of saying 'NO!' in order to confront in love or to provide space to recharge the batteries. 'Boundaries' is the 'Untold Story' -- the other side of love and servanthood that we need so desperately but that we hear so little about.' -- Howard G. Hendricks, Chairman
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From the Back Cover
Healthy relationship and sound living depend on maintaining effective personal boundaries. But many people don't know where to start. Here's where--with the Boundaries ZondervanGroupwareTM. Based on the bestselling book by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, these nine interactive sessions can make a life-changing difference. Drawing on principles from the Bible, Boundaries guides small groups on a journey of discovery and practical application. As a participant, you'll learn how to live your life more fully and display truth and love more freely. Each of the nine Boundaries sessions contains a video presentation by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. It's the centerpiece for insights, exercises, and spirited group discussion that can profoundly improve the quality of your relationships in every sphere of life--marriage, family, friendships, church, and the workplace. Now revised to enhance both your group experience and personal growth, this participant's guide gives you practical tools for cultivating the habits of productive relationships. For use with Boundaries small group DVD, also available.
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Product details
Paperback: 128 pages
Publisher: Zondervan; Revised edition (December 30, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0310278082
ISBN-13: 978-0310278085
Product Dimensions:
1 x 1 x 1 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
4,387 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#42,513 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
He makes some excellent points and this definitely influenced how I think about things. However, I disagree with him strongly in one point and I feel that he skirted one important issue. Near the end of the book he gives an example where a child refuses to go to school and the mother realizes she "can't make the child go to school" but sets the boundary that the child will have to stay in his room if he doesn't go to school. The problem with that logic is, if you can't "make a child go to school" how can you "make a child stay in his room"? We can't make a child enjoy school or even pay attention to the teachers, these things take incentives and consequences, but parents do still need to hold onto the reigns on certain issues. It is a delicate line, but I can and do "make" my children go to school.The other issue is one of an abusive marriage. He talks about putting up boundaries and leaving for the night if these boundaries are violated. This is always done for a short period of time and then the abused spouse returns home. There are situations where this is effective. But in a true abusive situation (physical or mental) it is playing with fire to leave and return over and over. The physical abuser can be deadly. A mental abuser will learn how to better manipulate her victim without his realizing that his boundaries have been violated and thereby twisting reality even further. Any abusive person is not to be trifled with, and without genuine repentance and clear signs of change one is foolish to continue to expose themselves to that risk regardless of history, children, or feelings. For all of his insight, I am shocked that this is not made more clear.
Getting through even one chapter of this book requires complete agreement with and acceptance of Christianity. It does not merely inform the work, it doesn't make sense without it. This book is so God preachy that unless you are extremely religious you are unlikely to find any of this compelling. Very disappointed.
[Note: although I'm not religious, I still found a ton of value out of this book]Cloud and Townsend do a great job of using boundaries to illustrate why we grew up certain ways. For example, you probably know someone who has a money problem. He spends recklessly and doesn't really think about the consequences of his actions. This can be traced back to his parents never establishing their own boundaries. They would always bail the son out whenever he ran out of money and tell him to be better next time. They never let him "feel" the consequences. And so he never learned.There's so many other brilliant examples of the importance of boundaries and how they affect the people around us.I learned a lot about myself through the sections that detail boundaries with friends, family, and work. The one that impacted me the most was the section on Boundaries with Myself. I grew up with parents who while loving, also created situations for me where I was not able to feel the consequences, and so I behave in certain ways that I'm trying to fix.When I was first referred to this book, I wasn't told this book had a heavy religious undertone (the conflict of setting boundaries and being a good person in the eye of God). I'm not religious, so the biblical references didn't really matter to me much, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them. The concepts themselves made sense to me and I would recommend this book to anyone who believes they have boundary problems.
This book was recommended to me by a counselor at my church. Initially I had a hard time getting into it but I stuck with it and I am so glad that I did! It provides incredible insight into why we behave the way we do, where those habits come from and how to get out of them if need be. I have tried to start applying the principles to my life and I have to say that the description of how people react to the initial phase of boundary setting has proven to be very accurate. (Hint: If you've always been a people pleaser, they are going to have a difficult time with the new you until they get adjusted.) I feel like this is helping me realize that it is ok to say no to certain requests or to certain people who suck the life out of you. I feel more capable of coping with the challenging people in my life now. I was not a doormat before by any means but I have always had the tendency to give until I had little left for my self or my own family. NO MORE!
This book should be called "How to accept who you are, be confident about telling people no, and have confidence in making decisions". This is an excellent book for those looking to understand the reasons behind deep emotional road blocks. I have read this book twice because it opened so many doors in my mind and lead me towards answers I had been seeking. If you're not religious it may sound a little to holy at first but by the end of the book you'll have a much better understanding of god and his teachings. I never saw myself going to church or reading the bible but after reading this book it helped me accept responsibility for my problems and understand how god and his teachings exist for that very reason. Each individual is responsible for the quality of his or her own life. It teaches that by accepting things which may have happened to you aren't necessarily your fault but are still your responsibility to deal with, get over, and forgive in order to move on a be a whole person is a fundamental part of life. This one of a few books which may really change your life if you're struggling with being happy and being okay with who you are.
This book is presented as a secular self help / self compassion book but it is full of religious material. Not a huge issue but wish it was more clear in the description, be aware before purchasing.
Those who have been victims of any kind of abuse, are often the folks who have boundary issues. Their life experience has taught them that inappropriate line crossing is part of daily life. It is a hard lesson to UN-learn. This book is a tool to help folks with boundary issues to learn where the line is and how to defend it.
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